Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Goes? Goes bloody where or whatever.

'And then she goes-'
'And then I go, "well you should say that or whatever". You know?'
'And then she comes back and goes. "Did you see her?" And I goes,-'
'Yeah, whatever, anyway, I go she's a stupid Bitch. She's owes us a tenner. So we go upstairs and
Ish goes'-
'Yeah, whatever anyway, Ish SAID, 'there she is!".'

And on it went. I listened, not on purpose you understand, but with anxiety and a mild thought to throw myself from my own moving car. The previous snippet was only part of an incredibly long winded account of a key ring of all things, told to me by Gothy of all people in my car yesterday, of all days.
After every 'goes' I automatically corrected her with 'said', every time I did this she replied, 'yeah, whatever, anyway' and thus the story took almost the entire car journey, and believe me, it wasn't that interesting a story to begin with. Dragged out with, 'Goes' 'said', yeah whatever, anyway' it went on for an almost unprecedented twenty-five minutes.
The moral of the story? Do not give teenagers lifts unless they are mute or listening to ipods.



Anonymous beady said...

For teenagers currently it's "Goes"...

Back a generation or 2 and it was "I turned around and said..." or "Then he turned around and said..." or "You can't turn around and say to me..." - that was just as irritating...

Everyone seemed to be pirouetting constantly as they spoke...

10:10 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ahaha, twirling twirling always twirling. It must have been exhausting and quite sick making to have a natter.
Seriously, between all the coming and going I was quite confused.

10:24 a.m.  
Anonymous Penelope_CA said...

it's like, yanno, tragic how kids these days can't, yanno, speak proper like

10:49 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

It's truly terrible. I said to Gothy, 'Gothy, you've got to learn to speak properly, it's PAINFUL listening to you.' But she just laughed. They laugh, damn them.

Sorry... I turned round to Gothy and I goes, 'Like, Gothy, you gotta like learn to speak yanno? It's like totally painful to be listening to you, right?'
But she was all, 'Hur Well duh. Chillax.'


10:57 a.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...


11:18 a.m.  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

Like no way..ya know.

*Sidles in.Sits at the back.Holds head in hands.Hopes no one sees her*

Mornin' *Winces at the booming reverb inside my skull*

11:31 a.m.  
Blogger sliabh said...

*puts on the A&F hoodie, tracksuit legs, and ugg boots*
Like, Oh!, My! God!

I cannot live in this world. I need to move to an island restricted to people in the 30 to 40 age group.

11:44 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...


COnan, INdeed,

Sliabh, wot? No large bag dangling from an upraised arm?? No big hair? Hmmm.

11:50 a.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

Can I come too?! I am only 25 but I am very conscious of my grammar and sentencing. I am known as the Grammar Queen in work.
What I cannot STAND is listening to people who say 'done' instead of 'did' and 'seen' instead of 'saw'.

"I seen a program the other day..."
"I done this amazing handstand..."

You did not seen a program and you didn't done a handstand! GAHR!

I am guilty of doing the 'do be' though. You know the 'do be' ?

"I do be sitting in the office clawing my hair out and..."

12:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh Pinkie, I understand. I hate, 'I was stood there.' And 'disconnect' as in 'there is a real disconnect between..' No there fucking isn't, there may be a disconnection, or you CAN disconnect something. And you where STANDING there.

12:13 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Oh, and your label - "not longer little Goth Kid in fact no longer Goth really" - gave me a moment thinking about how time moves on.

12:35 p.m.  
Anonymous morgor said...

ha, i picked up the nickname
"the corrector" for a while and got the dubious praise of "you're the most pedantic guy I know".

I have to constantly correct my mother from saying things like " would you learn me how to use the computer?"

ARGH, teach damnit TEACH!!

12:35 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

'Fraid so Conan. Gamma used to say 'time and tide wait for no man.' I think that's the way it rolls. Look at poor Gimmie for gawd's sake.

Morgor, oh I wouldn't let that one slide either, not for love nor money.

And even though I am a terrible speller-and I am aware and trying to do something about it- people who spell 'lose' as 'loose' drive me up the walls, I don't even know why, but it's like red rag to a bull.

1:55 p.m.  
Anonymous AM in Belgium said...

I don't know if it's anything to do with age. It's just a pedantic thing. My sister (younger) is worse than me for being picky with grammar and spelling. Almost to the point that I'm scared to e-mail her! ;)

I hate bad grammar. Badly positioned apostrophies; they're, their, there; and all sorts of other things drive me nuts.

But I have a very soft spot for the do bes and does bes. I use them a lot myself. Mainly because they make perfect sense, and also becuase it is something particularly Hibernian in the English language.

2:08 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Do be or not do be, AM, that surely is the question.

2:18 p.m.  
Anonymous The Bad Ambassador said...

You should of told Gothy....

I'm sorry... I can't.... not even in jest.

2:32 p.m.  
Anonymous beady said...

The Do be's does be a band from the 70's

Or is they has beens?

My other half, being from the big island off our eastern shore, once suggested I should speak proper english - "like wot she does"

2:45 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Heh, just do be putting on a telephone voice whenever youse speak, that'll learn her.

2:48 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

AM, it's the apostrophies [:)] that drive me nuts!

2:53 p.m.  
Anonymous AM in Belgium said...


I never claimed to be good at spelling.

3:00 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Don't fret, plural apostrophe's would be much worse!

3:07 p.m.  
Anonymous beady said...

And I've got a steering wheel in my underpants...

That's what drives me nuts...

3:14 p.m.  
Anonymous Cate said...

All that trickery pokery comes from reading too many Ross O' Carroll Kelly books. It's like OH! MY! GOD! Some of them need flipping translating.

3:16 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Hah, like Gothy reads...

3:22 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

FMC, there is a bright side. Gothy sounds like a teen instead of trying to sound like a 25 year old adult as I did at her age.

I mentioned before that what cured me of saying *like* all the fucking time was reading a transcript of my legal deposition. You could tape her and play it back maybe for shock value?

4:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, listen to Bobby George, Dart playing, husky voiced,sovereign ring enrusted Eastend cheeky chappy and cockney "geezah", dat'S WOT WAY TO SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH DAT IS MATE.

4:53 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Medbh, I suspect she'd just laugh at that too, she's easily entertained. Although you are correct, at least she's still happy enough being a teenager.
Monkey, that was boootiful,

On a side note, running and stretching are all far more difficult when one needs to stop and drain a bucket load of crap from one's bleedin' head ever kilometre or so. Where does it all come from?

6:16 p.m.  
Anonymous Pinkie said...

There was a big grafiti yokey bobber on the way into town somewhere and the 'artist' *cough cough* wrote:-
"Ya snooze ya loose" -
In big letters.
Like Brian in the Life of Brian...


7:30 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh dear! After all his hard 'work' too.

9:01 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

sounds exactly like waiter chum number three, our 16 year old......I don't know what to say to her! I mean what do I talk to her about.........???

12:02 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Manuel, I think with 16 year old the words the most like to hear is, 'Here is some money' and 'Don't worry, I won't tell your mother.'

9:13 a.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

ha that's so very true.......because I do know about her secret smoking......

11:17 p.m.  
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