Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Oh just shut up Marcus Sweeney, who ever you are.



Honestly, I was going to write a piece about plastic surgery this morning, but an interview with that tangerine nobody Marcus Sweeny caught my eye.
Seriously, I understand a goodly amount of people reading this will go Marcus who? And quite right. But here, let me fill you in.
Marcus Sweeney is the ex-boyfriend of Katy French -the irish model who died from a drug over dose in December, sparking a slew of naval gazing in this country about drug use and the Dianafication of a model who was anything but saintly or devilish, or even that interesting.
Sweeney and French broke up a LONG time ago when he found her-SHOCK HORROR- writhing about on a table -SHOCK HORROR-in her knickers for a photo-shoot-SHOCK HORROR- which happened to be -SHOCK HORROR- in his restaurant. This -SHOCKING HORRORING- discovery sparked a very public 'row', one that catapulted Katy into the role of tabloid darling and Marcus into, well I"m not sure actually. Whatever he was aiming for- probably publicity for his restaurant- backfired as he came across boorish and a bit of a wally.
But at least their spat was mildly entertaining for a while, and Katy milked it for every drop she could get from, playing the hurt victim to a T. (I've got to admit her dogged determination to constantly be in the press was at times amusing and her spats with fellow meedja folk was occasionally diverting over coffee)
But now of course Katy is dead and tox reports reveal what most of us who didn't 'tink kathy ur an angel coz ur 2 brite to live' had already figured out. 24 year old models generally don't drop into a coma and die for no good reason.

That should more or less be the end to the whole sordid affair, but OH NO, not while there's even an ounce of sweet sweet Sweeney sweat to be wrung from the cloth of Katy.
Which brings neatly us to mr tangerine.

Observe,

' Marcus Sweeney has a question for you. For you, and for every one of the readers of this paper. For me, the journalist sitting across from him, for the media industry in general, and ultimately, for the Irish public as a whole. For the past year, his life has been served up for public consumption, and, quoting from the film Gladiator, he wants to know: Are you not entertained?

Sweeney understandably approaches the media gingerly, as if entering into negotiations to broker a ceasefire with a bitter enemy. Like a disgraced politician, he gives each sentence he speaks a mindful, wary consideration."

Aw, diddums. Poor exhausted hunted Marcus. Here's a thing Marcus, if you're so terribly wary of the press why bother talking to them at all? I am wary of cabbage, I don't dress up in my most revealing t-shirts and have it for lunch.


Anyway, the whole article is one long boo hoo
and you can read it for yourself if you have the stomach for it. But don't bother, or do, no, don't, no do. DAMMIT, do read it, it's is the longest whinge and poor me whine you are likely to read this year and quite frankly whoever advised this lumpen gobshite to 'break his silence' is either out to get him or a dumb as a hammer.
Everything about this interview hits a false note, the self interest, the poor me, even the way he speaks about his current girlfriend is offensive and self centered, he can't even pay her a compliment without first linking it to his inner wants and pathetic wannabe-ism.

"The girl I'm with is my rock with no flaws. I can't find a flaw in the girl whatsoever. We were good friends previously and I'd like to thank her personally for standing beside me and basically putting up with such a controversial guy that I am. But really, she knows who I am, but it's not easy."

I mean give me a break. Can't find a flaw huh? Glad she meets your exacting standards That's nice, glad you looked though Marcus. I imagine she spends all her time nice and relaxed around you.
Controversial guy? Controversial? Oh how he wishes. And how do I know that? Because he has said so. He wants to be, he wants to be spoken about, considered interesting, noticed. Anything but what he is, an overly tanned ten-a-penny entitlement riddled boor, so utterly vapid and void of any personality you wouldn't notice him unless he was doing a bang up job of drawing attention to himself, and here chumlies, is where Marcus learned from the mistress.
Are we entertained? Not really Marcus. Not really. But I"m pretty sure that won't stop you.

Labels:

53 Comments:

Blogger Conan Drumm said...

It's easy enough to live in a parallel universe to these folk. It's a place I call the real world and neither Indo or Sindo is published in it.

Nor is it inhabited by people like this unmitigated twerp. Unfortunately there must be some leakage from his world into mine - only his ilk could be responsible for voting in Bertie's goon government.

10:53 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Of course, can you imagine the logic involved? He's a crook and a liar and the country is falling apart, we're losing manufactoring jobs left and right, the health system is third world and our schools are slipping, but hey I'm rich and I can't find a single flaw in myself, VOTE BERTIE!

10:58 a.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

I wish to God everybody would just shut the fuck up about Katy French. Apparently we all make mistakes, sadly she died, I sympathise with her family, I’m glad people are being arrested but everything you open a fucking paper you have some cunt yapping on about her or the ‘tragic circumstances surrounding her death’. If we just set up a tack force to shoot and kill anybody caught buying or selling drugs or even just get a few bad batches, the world would be a much brighter and better place. We the tax paying, law abiding citizen wouldn’t be subjected to a media dominated by drug dealers/takers/importers. I read that article in Life magazine on Sunday, I knew you would blog about it. And you are right, just like the women herself they are all just milking the media for every last cent they can get. I means the man could say what he liked about the women, the lying little fucker could say that she was dealing crack, the women is dead so not exactly in a position to protest. Seriously though, I hope it goes away soon.

10:59 a.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

Some comedy gold:

"The nation followed each twist and turn of the saga, gripped"

"I like to have my woman under my bed sheets, who is my woman"

"maybe I might do a sunbed once a week"

"if you are not familiar with drugs, therefore you cannot be aware of drugs"

11:00 a.m.  
Blogger Jasey said...

Best bit was when he referred to himself in the third person which is always endearing:

"Katy wanted everything in life. And part of that everything was Marcus, but she couldn't have Marcus for a long time".

11:12 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I sense there is a bit of Scottification to Marcus.
http://fatmammycat.blogspot.com/2008/01/oh-scotty-beam-me-up.html

11:15 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I also sense I ballsed up that link. Damn you Marcus, are there no end to your powers?

11:17 a.m.  
Blogger Dr. James McInerney said...

One of the reasons that is often quoted for the fall of the Roman Empire was the obsession the Romans developed with celebrity. Everybody wanted to become a celebrity. Who are these people? I felt sorry for KF when she died. Nobody likes to see it. However, she is about to become our very own Marilyn or Diana. WTF?

12:50 p.m.  
Blogger Manuel said...

and his restaurant was shite....and that offends me....huh

1:11 p.m.  
Blogger gimme a minute said...

I'd be a whole lot more entertained if he was getting mauled by tigers or trapped in a net and intimately tridented.

1:13 p.m.  
Blogger Lou said...

WTF is up with his moobs? Seriously...

1:16 p.m.  
Blogger daisy mae said...

i noticed that as well, lou. that man is seriously nipping out. which is all fine and good and part of every day life... but i can't help but think that it's intentional in this case.

1:34 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

and his restaurant was shite....and that offends me...

Have never eaten there, never will.

1:43 p.m.  
Anonymous sheepworrier said...

heh gimme - "intimately tridented" - now thats an adjective that just isn't used enough...

2:05 p.m.  
OpenID grimsaburger said...

This article and this douchebag seem like really good examples of why I gave up celebrity gossip for Lent.

2:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Lordy, I read that link with growing amazement - how could they publish such total shit- how can they give space to a guy who is obviously a complete wanker. They must have a lot of empty column inches to fill. I used to think journalism was an exciting job talking to interesting people. Har!

2:58 p.m.  
Blogger The Bad Ambassador said...

It's the Indo - Ian O'Doherty and Barry Egan write for them - surely you should know better by now.

Of course, given St. Tony O'Reilly's FF connections, with all this unfortunate tribunal news they are forced to ignore they have no other option but to print vapid, celebrity-centric trash for their vapid, socialite-aspiring readership.

3:10 p.m.  
Anonymous nonny said...

You don’t mind a bit of wannabe celebrity gossip and such but in the Sunday paper for the love of God. I swear every week since Miss French died there has been an article about or related to her in Life magazine every week. I have a pain in my arse with it. I have nothing against the Independent, I like it in fact, but it has gotten so tabloid-y or commercial. Perhaps the target market has changed but at any rate I don’t like it, they only way my faith will ever be restored is if they kill off Eoghan Harris. Slowly. And video it. And post it on their webpage.

3:37 p.m.  
Anonymous Shebah said...

Is the Indo equivalent to our News of the World or The Sun - which are full of the antics of Z listers. If so, we have similar crap about extreme nonentities like Kerry Katona and Jade Goody. Ugh! Who the fuck cares about these peoples' latest acne spots and philosophical thoughts about their fake boobs/nails/bleached ar**holes?

3:48 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

And you know what, his nips are NOTHING to write home about neither. Notice the jaw clench? What a tool. How long did he practice that particular pose Fatmamycat wonders. Actually maybe Fatmammycat had better get back to work and stop comparing those nips to Carrot-Tops. Yes, Fatmammycat ought to do that.
Talking in the third person means you are never alone. Marcus is never alone.
Also Ryvita with pumpkin seeds, garlic and herb spread and some sliced italian tomatoes is velly delish. More delish than Marcus any road.

3:52 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

But not as delish as the stewed rhubarb+ginger I had on me cereal yeaterday.


[admit it, if MSweeney were ginger you'd have pics of him every Friday!]

4:02 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Is it so wrong that I checked that out earlier?

4:17 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

Yup, totally wrong but predictable. Go on... I bet you asked yourself, "Does he bleach?"

4:37 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I checked his hair line and eyebrows, but unless we strip him and check to see if his collar matches his cuffs this one remains a non runner.

4:40 p.m.  
Blogger PI said...

May I be struck dead if I ever have the bad taste to call anyone 'my rock'!

4:42 p.m.  
Blogger Conan Drumm said...

"we"! Even if it's hypothetical what's with the "we"!? Is it the royal "we"?

You're on your own with those thoughts. You can leave the rest of us out of it.

4:46 p.m.  
Blogger Medbh said...

His man nips make me want to yack.
Gross.
What kind of a woman would put up with a ego-inflated shitbag like him?

5:10 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Some kind of rock perhaps? He could be the lichen.

7:07 p.m.  
Blogger Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Anybody who quotes from Gladiator deserves to be poked with a stick.

10:23 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Ahem, I'm pretty sure I did a few weeks back, but in my defense I was being snarky and I wasn't wearing polyester.

10:31 p.m.  
Blogger Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Fair enough Ms Cat.

I hereby exempt you from any stick-poking.

10:37 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Huzzah! And also I am the very wreak of the Hespa and believe I will call it a night. Good night.

10:41 p.m.  
Anonymous whyknot said...

kerrist, that t-shirt, reminds me of those tacky novelty aprons with six-packs printed on, and whats with the godamn bronzer 'chiselled' cheekbones? Marcus "i once shagged poor dead katy french", please do us all a favour and just fuck off.

6:17 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

He does instill that sort of a reaction, in fairness.

6:19 p.m.  
Anonymous Just Nuts About said...

thats gas.... i dont think the V neck suits him anyway.... good lord

2:40 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!

3:55 a.m.  
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