Monday, September 17, 2007

Irrational Fear.

Eeek, it is with great horror that I must start this week. A piece of molar has broken and this can mean one of two things.
I can ignore it and pretend it's not sharp, or I can go to the dentist and get it fixed.
Now a normal person would automatically choose the latter. I too will have to choose the latter, but I'll choose the later and then pretend I've done something about it. I can do this type of thing for months.
See chumlies, I don't care a hoot about getting stitches in my head, or needles in my arm or bad haircuts or getting my eyes tested or taking medicine or stripping off naked in front of a doctor or peeing into cups or any off those things. I'm a very rational human being. Mostly.
But when it comes to the dentist all rationality goes straight out the window. I am reduced to a quivering mess even at the very thought of a dental visit. I"m serious, I turn into smooch the moment I cross the threshold. I've fled from a dentists office once, he said 'open your mouth please' and I said, 'aieeeeeeeeee!' and ran for my life. I burst out of his office with the blue paper still around my neck, eyes wide, with flecks of pink foam around my mouth, reeled around the waiting room- scaring the bejayous out of the other patients waiting and then when his dental nurse said, 'Miss fatcat wait!' I yelled, 'No! NO! forget about it, sorry about that, I'll call okay, we'll do it again bye bye bye...'
I fled and was hyperventilating on the street for almost two minutes feeling like a absolute idiot, but also relieved that my fight or flight responses were so sharp.
Then there was the time I went to a chap who 'specialised' in nervous patients. I was there for so long -turning my head every time he tried to inject me- that he eventually had to grumpily send the rest of his appointments home. He wasn't quite so patient with me after that, which made me worse and finally he threw up his hands in despair and said, 'WILL YOU JUST HOLD STILL FOR A MOMENT!"
I burst out crying and began to hyperventilate, and so we danced on until finally he just sort of stabbed me with the needle. Of course I bolted from the chair- with the bloody thing still in my gum which totally terrorised me and him...oh it was a disaster (he retired not long after and I always wonder was it my patronage that pushed him over the edge)
I've had emergency root canal done at 2:30 am by an extremely pissed off dentist, still in tails as he had to come from a party to save me. The reason he had to save me at all was the pain was so bad the 18 or so Anadin I was taking a day and had been for almost nine months just weren't cutting it any longer.
That was a mess. Even in agony I had to be talked back into the chair about five times. How he didn't just club me over the head and be done with it I"ll never know.
I know I should go and get this fixed immediately, and I swear to chulutha I'll make some kind of phone call today. But right now I"m just going to sit here and gibber to myself softly for a while and hope the the one Dentist I know who uses a complete anaesthetic will have an opening this side of Christmas.

Anyone else got an irrational fear? It's probably dentists, right? RIGHT?

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44 Comments:

Blogger Kim Ayres said...

I don't tend to think of fear of dentists as "irrational", more sort of "perfectly normal and pretty obvious".

Dental treatment in the caravan that would visit the school every 6 months when I was a kid, has a lot to answer for.

At least I overcome the fear now and go along. My sister, however, didn't. And for years her teeth broke, split and rotted away. Now, a couple of months away from her 40th birthday, she has just come out of hospital having had ALL her stumps removed. In a few weeks she'll be getting some temporary teeth, then in 6-8 months or so, when her gums have shrunk back, she'll be getting a complete set of new false teeth.

I'm sure that makes you feel better...

10:03 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having amalgam scatter-gunned around my mouth as a child (victims of Ribena) the dentist is my friend. I've sent one to retirement (he was always worth seeing, sang white Christmas during heat waves and once told me that his wife made him choose between his wine cellar and her. No contest, 3000 bottles) and the current one breathes his bad breathe over me while I lie in his chair and talks up to me in a fatherly way.

I do have a fear of that prostatic massage they do in the well-man health check, though I don't think that's at all irrational.

10:09 a.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

Dental wreck? Oh yes, indeedy.
Personally, I blame both Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man, and the dentist who told me, age 8ish and-alone-at-the-dentist-having-got-a-bus-and-walked-there-on-my-own, that I had to have EIGHT teeth out (basically all my first molars) and proceeded to take four out on the spot. I couldn't speak to tell the bus conductor where I was going on my way home.

10:15 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Up until my run in with an Eastern Health Board Dentist about 16 years ago I never had this fear. But that bastard was was so brutal he completely turned me. he was trying to take a tooth out at the back and it wouldn't come, so he applied more force and the tooth shattered. That left him with no option but to dig the roots out. I"m telling you no word of a lie he was sweating and cursing and there was blood everywhere and he had to stitch the hole closed.
That finished me with dentists.
Kim, we had those 'visits' too, and an eye doc who ruined many a young life by prescribing plastic brown rimmed glasses for those of us who are not naturally blessed in the sight department.

10:25 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Howdi, I don't mind the dentist I would have reservations about stripping naked in front of anyone let alone a doctor. My sister in law is like that and like yourself has some hilarious stories to tell, but she goes to this dentist in Palmerstown, he gives her a tablet to take before the visit, she takes it gets stoned and happy days, the only thing is you would need somebody to drive you and collect you. I’ll get the number if you want.

10:29 a.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Cheer, but my one knocks me out completely. It's the only way I can cope.

10:37 a.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

Was this before or after the weekend's al dente veg?

1:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh no, this reminds me I should really go for a check-up. It's been quite a long time... But I am no fan of the dentist either (you are not alone my dear!), so I ignore all thoughts of the dentist until I can feel that something is wrong. Fortunately I have been pretty lucky with my teeth (hah, because I said that I will probably need a double root canal treatment before the week is over!) and I don't have any horror stories like yours (I need to stop now, I'm really jinxing it!).
Anyway, I have no other advice for you than drugs. Plenty of drugs.

1:45 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

After. And I can't stop fiddling at it with my tongue so it is really driving me nuts.

1:46 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Eva, drugs are the way forward, you're quite right!

1:47 p.m.  
Blogger Megan McGurk said...

My first dental visit was at 20 years of age (in my house you didn't see a doctor unless it was an emergency) when I paid for my first root canal. I went under the condition that they gassed me up. They gave me so much that they had to wait 5 minutes for me to stop laughing. Oh, beautiful nitrous oxide. My last dentist gave it to you just for a cleaning. I never missed one.

1:55 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm, i hate needles for some reason. I dont mind blood, its just the thought of some trainee doctor using me as a pin-cushion to practice on gives me the heebie jeebies.

Not a huge fan of spiders either, but thats because they all hate me and want to bite my throat, the skittery little bastards. Oh, and the horrible, horrible amount of legs - completely unneccessary.

3:38 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

MMm gas.
Sheepie, this is the worst time if the year for spiders, or smiders, it's getting cold out and the buggers come in and build their bloody webs all over the camp. Not good, there's three of the buggers in my bedroom at the moment, living on my ceiling like common ceiling trolls with lots of legs. If they don't move out they're going to get such a hoovering on Thursday.

4:23 p.m.  
Blogger FINN said...

Was this before or after the weekend's al dente veg?
and the Small Geysers??

your Eastern Health experience sounds perfectly horrid. i'd like to think that people like this have some idea of the repercussions they cause but i suspect they don't.

one of the benefits of being on anticoagulants is that dentists and their techs MUST be gentle lest they contend with, well, small geysers.

6:09 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I hope he died, that might even up the Steven a bit.

6:24 p.m.  
Blogger Rusticissimus maximus said...

My younger cousin is doing dentistry in the Institution and insists that I am going to be one of her outsourced "practice patients". So now I'm scared of the dentist too.

9:53 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hullo
I can relate totally to your fear of dentists and even now, heading for the big six oh, I ask myself when will I ever 'grow up'!! However, I might just be able to help you as I have figured out what my problem is and you may discover that you have the same issues: control. I am a control freak and have realized that if I can take along a mirror and watch what the dentist is doing in my mouth [control and ensure he is doing the job correctly :)] then I wouldnt be half as afraid of opening my mouth for him. Hope that helps.

10:05 a.m.  
Blogger Unknown said...

I can totally understand how you feel, fatmammycat. When I was a kid, I was so afraid to go to the dentist and the mere sound of the drills scares me off! My dad would even drag me out of my room. (LITERALLY!) Well, thankfully I was able to conquer my fears.

A couple of years back, my boyfriend told me that I have a snoring problem. It was so embarrassing. He told me that there's a dentist in Memphis TN that specializes in gum related problems and even sleeping disorders like sleep apnea. Memphis is just a one hour drive, so we went. (Well, the first sight of the dental clinic was really mind-boggling!) But, when the dentist welcomed us, my fears went away just like that. Gosh! I can't remember smiling back at the dentist before. But this one is simply irresistible. Well, thanks for sharing your fears fatmammycat. Just relax and breathe. It helps!

8:45 a.m.  
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